Darkness within
by L.N Blade Maser
Summary: Everyone has a dark side, some embrace it, but most try to hide it and make up for it with good deeds. Sometimes, that is no longer possible. (Dark Kayle) (Previously titled 'Fallen angel', as I couldn't think of anything else)
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings. This is, I believe it would be called, a 'pilot chapter'. Any further chapters I release will likely be quite a bit longer. I hope you enjoy reading it.**

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_Journal entry One:_

_I feel silly writing this… from what I can gather Journals are written daily. How insignificant is a day? Mortals come up with the strangest things. Now, back on topic. I write this journal in the hopes that it will relieve some of the stress of my current… situation. Hopefully, at some stage in the future I will be able to look back at this and be entertained by how petty my concerns are._

_However, I am starting to get incredibly concerned… no, fearful, of what is happening. So much so that later today I intend to consult the Bringer of Darkness. If my theory is correct,_

**The next part is smudged out, and is unreadable.**

_The only way I shall find out, however, is through talking to said creature, so I will stop procrastinating and meet it._

_**It** is growing stronger, and I intend to figure out how to remove it. Hopefully the Bringer will be able to show me how._

_- Kayle._

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Kayle flew down the halls of the institute of war, headed for the room that the summoners, at her request, had moved Nocturne into. When she had asked them to be able to converse with it unmonitored, and in private, they had been somewhat reluctant, but eventually she had convinced them to allow it as a personal favour to her. She entered the room, shutting the door behind her. Inside, Nocturne floated above the ground, chained to the walls by magic and mostly unable to move. Kayle pulled up a nearby chair and sat facing him in silence, unsure of how to begin.

"Hello." Kayle said, removing her helmet and facing the creature.

"_Well, that is an unusual sight._" Nocturne replied, chuckling to itself.

"You know why I'm here, don't you." Kayle stated. The creature chuckled again, which she took as a yes. "I need your help."

"_What could you possibly need my help for?"_ Nocturne asked.

"This will go much faster if we drop the pretence." Kayle replied.

"_Very well, Judicator."_ Kayle winced slightly. "_Why should I help you?"_

Kayle gazed towards the ground. It was true she had nothing to prepared offer in return. "If there is something you want, ask for it and if it is reasonable, I will grant it to you."

"_That won't be necessary, this will be entertaining and rewarding enough. Besides, I help kindred spirits."_ Kayle looked up, slightly confused by his words. "_What is afflicting you," _Nocturne continued "_Is not a curse. Nor is it a blessing. It has absolutely nothing to do with magic. It is who you really are."_

Kayle slammed her hand against her chair. "I don't believe you." She said angrily, losing her composure briefly.

"_You can lie to me. You can lie to the summoners. You can even lie to your sister. But you cannot lie to yourself Kayle. You know of what I speak, and there is no way to stop it, because there is no 'it' to stop." _Nocturne chuckled. "_The sooner you accept that, the better off you will be. It will be amusing to watch you. But remember, if you need anyone to talk too, I will do so gladly, and you can trust me to be honest with you, even when you aren't being honest to yourself."_

"You're lying." Kayle said, frustrated. It had to be… But it sounded so sure of itself, and Kayle's voice flickered almost unnoticeably, she wasn't sure of her conviction.

"_And why would I do that?"_ Nocturne asked, clearly amused. Kayle tried to respond, by no comeback came to her mind. It was right, it had no reason to lie to her.

* * *

_Journal entry Two:_

_I spoke to the Bringer yesterday, and what it said scared me because… it made sense. There is almost no other option, and I'm beginning to give up hope. But I can't do that, I need to keep fighting until I am triumphant… Right?_

_I'm not so sure any more. I had intended to write this yesterday, directly after my discussion with the creature, but I didn't get the chance to. It happened again. I don't understand how or why it keeps happening. After cleaning my armour, I had a league match. That usually isn't note worthy, but during the league match… my sword burned me. Not too bad of a burn, but it seemed to dislike me holding it. Perhaps it is because I am questioning my conviction, but I doubt that._

_The second theory, which seems very likely, scares me too much for me to write about it here. I'm so afraid… it's a strange experience. How emotionally weak have I become as of late? Being around humans seems to have caused me to begin acting like they do. Prior to when it happened for the first time, I don't think I had ever felt fear before… What is wrong with me? Why does it keep happening? These are two questions I intend to further investigate and answer as soon as possible… hopefully before it is too late._

_- Kayle._

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**A page has been torn out here, but on the next page the journal continues in its immaculate writing.**

_Journal entry Four:_

_Why... Why does this keep happening? _**The page is damp, tears having fallen on the words, smudging some, but all remain readable. **_What did I do to deserve this? What sin could possibly invoke such a torture? it happened again, longer than any before it... and I remember everything that happened... EVERYTHING! IN SUCH VIVID DETAIL! Get the screams out of my head... They already haunt me. Don't I deserve to be haunted, though? Don't I deserve the pain that is being delivered?_

_After all, I was laughing as it happened... I laughed as I watched that village's inhabitants torn to shred and their houses burned to the ground... I saw their desperate pleas that fell on deaf ears, only for them to meet an end more gruesome than many of them could've imagined._

_I laughed as their families were tortured in front of them... so much blood... there was blood everywhere, and I was covered in it... and I _relished_ it! I'd like to believe it was a curse, some dark magic inflicted on me... but I'm not so sure anymore. I need help, but who do I turn to? I can't trust the summoners... they would never understand. Nocturne has already given his opinion on the matter... but who else is there I can turn too?_

_As I write this, my armor burns me more and more... whatever I decide to do, I shouldn't show my face in public until I figure this out, so I will send a letter to the league requesting personal leave for the next while... I don't think I can handle league matches, where violence is encouraged... not in the state I'm in. I just hope I can fix it soon... I'm not sure I can take it any longer..._

_- Kayle._

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**Thank you for reading. Please tell me what you think so far. All forms of feedback are much appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello. My apologies that this chapter took me so long to complete, despite how short it is. I was procrastinating. None the less, here it is, and I hope you enjoy reading it. As a heads-up, the story name and description will likely change. Nothing else to report.**

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There was a knocking on her door. Morgana stood up, annoyed. Who could possibly be wanting to speak with her at this hour? It was by sheer coincidence she was awake, two in the morning was generally a time for rest, after all. Plus, many of the other so called 'champions' were afraid of her, and rightfully so. She was glad the mortals knew their place. She flicked her wrist, and the door gently opened. Magic was quite useful of saving time.

"You had better not be wasting my time." She said grumpily, and noticed whoever it was hadn't entered. She growled. "Come in, we don't have all night." She added, allowing her annoyance to show, still not turning.

"Hello, Morgana." Said a weak voice behind her, and Morgana stiffened… it almost sounded like…

"Sorry to disturb you." The voice said.

Morgana growled and spun, flinging a ball of dark magic at her 'guest'. To her surprise, it hit the woman standing there in the chest, knocking her back into the wall behind her. Kayle wasn't wearing her trademark armour, nor did she have her sword. She was wearing a… what was the word, hoodie? And a pair of jeans, both of which were gunmetal grey, which completely obscured her skin except for her face. Her eyes were dull and out of focus, and she made no move to stand back up. She looked terrible, but Morgana couldn't pick out exactly why.

"Good to see you again, too." Kayle muttered slowly. Her voice was drained of energy, as if she were exhausted and wanted to just lie there and sleep.

"What do you want?" Morgana demanded angrily, her brow furrowing.

"I thought it would only be polite to speak why you before I leave." Came the faint response.

"Why would you think tha – what?" Morgana asked, caught of guard by the statement.

Kayle nodded slightly, shutting her eyes. "If you don't want to talk to me, I will leave with no intent of bothering you again. All you need to do is say the word."

"Then leave." Morgana said venomously. Kayle nodded again, and slowly pulled herself up off the ground, her wings still folded underneath her hoodie, leaning on the wall for support and walked slowly off down the corridor. She stopped after a few steps and turned back, sighing.

"If anyone from the league asks, tell them I'm taking personal leave."

"And why would I do that?" She growled. Kayle chuckled slightly.

"Why isn't important: I know you Morgana, you will." Kayle then fell to her knee's, laughing hysterically. "You haven't changed even slightly Morgana… such hostility."

Morgana felt slightly embarrassed, slamming the door shut and storming into her bedroom to sleep, muttering angrily about Kayle to herself and cursing her. The verbal kind only, unfortunately. She knew if she took advantage of Kayle's weakened state to attack her, she would never forgive herself… when she killed Kayle, she wanted Kayle to be fully there, and feel all the pain she had inflicted onto her all those millennia ago.

* * *

_Journal entry Seven:_

_I'm not really sure what I expected when I went to Morgana… I guess I would've liked to speak to her one last time. I was hoping she would be able to help, she has an… extensive knowledge of dark magic's. But then again, even if she HAD listened to me, I didn't expect her to help, and I fully deserve the way she treated me. I know if I was in her position I wouldn't forgive me. I don't deserve her sympathy._

The page is slightly stained by moisture, tears, causing the next sentence to be blurred beyond recognition. Other than that, the writing was immaculate.

_Huh, I'm… crying. That was unexpected. I'll try to stop smudging the paper. I guess… I just hoped she would understand. Oh well, I will continue as planned, no harm has been done. I had hoped this had not been necessary… but I know it is. Not doing so would be selfish._

_Kayle_

SB

"Morgana, do you know where Kayle went?" A summoner asked, causing the being the question was addressed too to turn angrily.

"As I told you four months ago, the only thing I know is that she is taking, and I quote, 'personal leave'. You might know that me and Kayle aren't exactly on speaking terms, and Kayle's health is of little concern to me. Figure it out on your own."

"Many other summoners have begun suspecting… foul play." He said nervously. She turned to the man, before sighing. It was a fair concern, as she had literally joined the league to kill Kayle.

"I can assure you I have nothing to do with her 'disappearance'. The last time I saw her, she seemed a little drained, and wasn't wearing her armour, but aside from that she was fine. Now please, I am very busy today, and I can't stay to chat. Try to avoid continuing to disturb me, you have been asking with annoying frequency, and I have told you all I know." She said, walking off.

* * *

"So, anything new to report?"

"No, sir." Replied the summoner. "Morgana has said the same story she has always said."

"Clearly she's lying then." The other summoner growled.

"Don't you think you might be a bit… biased, sir? No offense intended, but you seem to have a natural dislike for her, all we have is a motive, no evidence."

The other summoner growled. "Know your place, summoner Phillis."

Phillis winced slightly. "Of course, my apologies, summoner Jaeliv."

The woman, Jaeliv, laughed. "I was just kidding, you were right of course. I do dislike Morgana." Jaeliv sighed slightly. "Anyway, the reason I called you here was because we received a letter from Kayle a few minutes ago, she delivered it herself to a low-ranked summoner." She passed him the letter, still enclosed in the envelope.. "Can you verify if this is a forgery or not? Also, whether or not it is trapped."

Phillis took a brief glance at the paper. "It isn't a forgery. It's also perfectly safe." He said immediately.

"That was quick."

"It IS my field of expertise."

"'Expertise' is perspective." She joked.

He scowled, and opened the envelope, pulling out the piece of paper. It had words few written on it, and read the following in shaky handwriting.

"To whoever reads this:

I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing, especially I originally had no intention to come back, but you no longer need to fear, I have done what I have needed to do and have returned. I realise the above may prompt some questions, but they will go unanswered until I state otherwise, so it is pointless asking them.

Kayle"

* * *

_Journal entry Two hundred and Fifty Seven_

_I've been writing these far too frequently… It seems it really does help me calm down. A brief recap is in order, as most of the previous entries were illegible or hastily written, and don't make much sense._

_I travelled back to my home land, and I had forgotten how much I missed it. But that is not why I was there. As is my duty, do to being no longer fit to rule or judge, I returned my armour and blade to my people's armoury, and luckily for me no one noticed my return, so I left a note. Many wouldn't have understood why I no longer believe myself unworthy – but they don't understand. My sword and armour, holy artefacts enchanted so they can only be used by those worthy of them, have been burning me. I was able to keep up the façade of normality long enough to dispose of them, but I was cracking towards the end. Mostly because I knew I was unworthy. How could I judge when I myself had committed atrocious acts?_

_The scars are still quite painful._

_After that, I returned to the world of Valoran, finding myself in a small Demacian town with no purpose to be there other than to hide from my fellows. I was in a pub, trying and failing to get drunk. No-one recognised me, which I was grateful for, as it let me have a night where I could just relax and try to enjoy myself… for the first time in… my life, I think. I can't recall the last time I had a holiday of any capacity._

_In retrospect, I would've preferred it if everyone had recognised me. As it happened, two men followed me as I left, reeking of malicious intent I could smell a mile away. I felt something I didn't expect. It wasn't annoyance at being bothered, or anger at their plans, or even sadness at what this world had come to. It was… bloodlust. It was so powerful, I could barely contain it. I just… wanted to tear them limb from limb and soak in their scream. My vision went red, and my memory grew a little faint, but I remember doing just that._

_Many of the villagers tried to stop me when they heard the screams… and I panicked, regaining control of myself. I couldn't let there be a case against me. I'm not sure why I felt so strongly about it, but it was strong enough that I wiped the village off the map. I watched each of its residence die individually, laughing at their hate, shock and fear, drinking it all in as I individually killed each and every one of them._

_I want to feel remorseful… but I don't. I enjoyed it. Whenever I think of the memories, I feel ecstatic, not disturbed. And it terrified me. I looked for similar cases in the recent history, and sure enough, villages had been destroyed frequently, coinciding with all missing memories I have had of late. There were no witnesses, and the town was ash, no way to find the cause of the destruction. I've always been efficient and determined when something is on my mind – looks like that hasn't changed._

_I can't let the summoners know or they will lock me up and try to help me. I desperately want their help, but deep down I know there is nothing they can do. You can't be protected from yourself. Besides, I will not let the summoners tie me up. It's too much fun, what I've been doing lately and_

_What am I writing? The words disgust me, but I keep growing angrier and angrier as I sit here. I suppose I should vent some of that anger._

_Kayle_


End file.
